The India character

[India]

I'm running out of ideas as to what to do with the current situation. India, my 10 year old character, me even, is in a place that I don't think that there is a way out of.
 
It was near the end of the Parrian treaty in Mercinae that had restricted me from holding FM aideship, chancellory and barony and all that and it had been in place for near a RL year. Kahn was concentrating on other things and gave me FM aideship in mid May.
 
Mercinae was in a bit of a state army wise and I did the following: immediate audit of troops and kit. Then I started the men training and split the equipment through our barracks.
 
In June I got official treaty permission to take FM and started my investigations into how to make equipment - note that noone in Mercinae seemed to have a clue how to do it and I was the first one in a RL year to start putting info onto our commanders board.
 
I found a forest location in the city and started up making bows and getting arrows made. There were several weekend when this was all I did.
 
Then all the crap started and Parrius invaded because i intoned at Salvador and had slayed 5 men in defence of our SOI. A SOI skirmish and some bravado insults... nothing in the grand scheme of things (you should have heard what Narissa got called by certain people really personal stuff and nothing I said was anything like as bad as that).
 
Fortunately the city decided to standby me rather than eject me as Parrius requested which was great - but we got razed because quite frankly noone had a clue what to do with troops. Not me, and not the 5 barons and ministers that had had a RL year (that i had not had) to learn.
 
Then Clara and i discussed it was time for me to leave so that negotiations could start. I did not want to go - of course I did not I have been Mercinaen all my time in Avalon - heck i never even toyed with the idea of seconds or looked over Ben's shoulder at the Thak BB as he played his Thakrian at my house. That would be cheating. So I said I would only go if I got ejected I would not have a quit on my help file.
 
Clara ejected me immediately which I was not expecting - I thought I would at least get to write a farewell and thankyou to all those people I had spent so much time with. She offered to incit me so I could say farewell but i did not want that mess on my help file. I thought the people who knew me would understand why I was going...
 
That was all ok and i knew I would have to be out of Mercinae a while I guess to apease the Parrians. But then Clara and Aethon cooked up this idea of posting so that Thakria and Springdale would think Mercinae were in control of the ejection and it was not a Parrian whim. She ran a number of posts past me - but I was pretty horrified at them - all of them were scapegoating me.
 
Apparently I was ejected because of my "actions". And so to the point of this post...
 

Message #25473.
Date: 8-8-2010 at 15:30.
From: Clandestine Clara, Foxy Lady.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Mercinaen Announcement.
During the recent invasion by Parrius, the Citizens of Mercinae took as stand and refused to yield to the demands of their
invaders. The decision has now been made to eject the then Field Marshall, India from Mercinae.

This decision has not been made due to Parrian demands, but rather by the government of Mercinae in light of India's recent
actions.
Written by my hand on the 18th of Midwinter, in the year 1265.

So some "actions" changed between them standing up to Parrius on my behalf and the post above. Noone asked me about my "actions" I had no idea about what they were...
 
I asked all the barons 12 days ago to retract that post after the treaty was signed. I understood it could be convenient whilst negotiations were on. I had no answers at all.
 
Today on pressing Clara i got this:
 

Utter lack of respect. If its not your way its the wrong way, suiciding to get dp,
not helping in city defence, the defeatist attitude, the fact our army had no friggin equipment, the fact serephima told you
how to mine hunt with normal troops and you chose to ignore it.

Which is EXACTLY what Parrius were giving as their reasons for wanting to eject me.
 
Noone in Mercinae knew anything about troops and I had less time than anyone else to try and learn. I never suicided to get dp - I suicide when jumped by Jammond and Athenia, I don't like to be stripped and I have NEVER  EVER been a Justice aide and so I don't feel obliged to drop dp when a fighter gets in trouble. Some people just aren't fighters.
I contributed by enlisting, by helping lw, by sorting the army training, by clearing out trade, by spending my time working on equipment and mining, by dunging every last Mercinaen field year after year. Stuff I did not mind doing that was EQUAL to dropping dp and fighting. I've just never really been into it.
 
During the RL year i was out of government I left the Barons to it - I never posted on the city or publically to interfere with the direction they chose for the city, so whereever Mercinae is or was it was not wholly down to me this last RL year. I lost princess and baron in June 2009 - that ended my influence on Mertcinaen direction.
 
So now I'm lost.
 
India who is Mercinaen is not Mercinaen and Aethon and Salvador have that say so for another RL year. Everything India does is Mercinaen and she can't do that now.
 
I can't get my head around what the new "gameplay" is and how I am going to do it for a RL year citiless- that is should they even let me back in then. India doesn't city switch - she just is Mercinaen.
 
I just can't see why I need to be out of Mercinae a RL year... it just seems so long and especially after I just completed one RL year hobbled unable to learn FM stuff.
 
What should I do now when things are so messed up in the city?
 
The whole point of India was to be the best Mercinaen possible...
 
 
 
 

[Kargul]

I think that any character should be and is defined primarily by the choices that they make, and secondarily by what happens to them or what is done to them by others.

So India has been sent into exile. What will she do? Probably not join another major city. But will she join a village or town? Live in the forest, or mountains, or some other obscure place? Will she take up some other mission or cause and make her mark on the land that way, or fade into obscurity while living alone in the wilderness? Will she remain a mage, or take up a different profession? Will she remain a fighter in name only, devote her self to becoming a more proficient fighter, or formally renounce fighting and become a true pacifist?

Regarding formal citizenship and identity, it's interesting to see how different characters have approached this. In reading old guild and city BB posts, there are clearly people who have had citizenship in one city but at heart still felt loyal to another. In a few cases this was because they deliberately meant to betray their new city, but many times they switched cities to help another city out for a time, or to be closer to a friend from another city, or even to try to change the direction or character of another city. Or just to have a change.

So, even though India is technically not a citizen of Mercinae, there's no reason she can't remain a friend of Mercinae. I would also understand if she chose to be less friendly to the city that ejected her. But the ejection doesn't *have* to change that part of her identity.

There are still lots of good choices to make.

[Sonja]

For rp purposes, the India character was intriguing from a storyline perspective. To many times, I see people just jumping around city to city or guild to guild for no reason at all. I used to do this while very young but now, I realize how building a character "story" can be just as rewarding.

With that said, I saw no mention of your "Mage" guild and profession. I would think your membership and tenure to your guild is an important aspect for India. I know Mercinae is important but I always thought the Mage guild is to Mercinae what the Sorcerers is to Thakria. So I think in a year you can focus on making/shaping the guild - making Mages strong in Elemental roots, high in reps.  You can also still learn warfare with guild troops. Essentially, make the Mages the foremost guild in Mercinae. Your "exile" can also be reclassed as a time of contemplation a la David Thoreau, which is befitting a mage story.

It wasn't long ago that Sonja was very inexperienced with city affairs and was losing SOI left and right. As a young FM, Sonja lost thousands and thousands of troops until she mastered the art to the point of conquering half of avalon. The point is hardship can be used as a time of learning. You'll see who will support you in these hard times (identify true allies that can be trusted in your future) and hone your skills (fighting, warfare knowledge, etc.). You might not have admin power in Merc but you can still sell comms to the city - refunnel that money to build up your guild (equipping you members, bribing men for guild army, etc). So you still have a chance to influence the city indirectly.

Also, one thing ive learned about these "treaties" is that they are quite malleable. If you work hard enough and achieve true accomplishments (build bad ass Mage guild, improved fighting, improved knowledge of warfare), I'm sure Olympus and/or mortals with admin power will take notice and make you Mercinaen again.

What should I do now when things are so messed up in the city?

Mercinae won't fail under Sonja's watch, but the baton will eventually have to be passed on to someone in due time....

[Jammond]

I'm running out of ideas as to what to do with the current situation. India, my 10 year old character, me even, is in a place that I don't think that there is a way out of.

I think most of us, at one point or another face the issue where the character is more like the RL person than its own separate identity. For me, it was mostly in the first few months, through the first year in avalon. Others, after many years in the land, STILL have not grown out of it. More, it is an easy thing to lapse back into.

I've seen quite a few try to shape what their character -is- and how they behave etc, only to fall back into the trap where the thing just becomes virtually indistinguishable from the RL person. The issue stems from the fact that people, whether RP'd or RL, are what they do, but what they do stems from what they believe and their driving motivations. And that really is where the break down occurs.

What I had to do was sit down and decide not just what Jammond believed, but his driving motivations. He is (as most of you know) incredibly arrogant and self-centered. This makes his reaction to many things quite predictable. Nothing (in his mind) is ever about this group or that, it's ALWAYS about him. Eject all Sorcerer types from Mercinae? Personal betrayal, something to be avenged harshly. Sully the Profession image? Make me look like a fool? Die worm. Etc.

While India has a STRONG basis, in terms of the whole guild/city thing. She's demonstrated a level of consistency that is uncommon in avalon, but... I've never really picked up on a driving emotion of any sort. More like she was just there. It is very hard to craft a character that is separate from yourself while still knowing what to do with it at every fork in the road unless you know what drives it. And... people aren't exactly rational beings. We're rather emotional things (as you know) and characters are just people that we invent.

So what's the overall emotional context that India is working with? Is she feeling betrayed? Degraded? Sullied? Guilty? Pensive? Depressed? Angry? Then, how does this emotion play into her logic? Does she want revenge? Vindication? A chance to walk away and forget the past? Is this her chance to take a radically new direction?

I see several potentially huge story lines you could follow with India, given sufficient drive and such. You could become the angry exile who learns to fight/march for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc on the city that betrayed you (whether on your own, or with guild troops), for instance. Or you could decide you just want to let Mercinae lie, and focus on your role as a Mage. You could seek a new home elsewhere, and live there as you did in Mercinae.

The choice you make is important, yes, but just as important is why India makes that choice. Just my two cents

[Furion]

QFT Jammond

[Clara]

I considered posting here to clear up a few misinterpretations of the truth but I figured best let things go and let people believe what they wish.  I will say that the version of events posted here is one persons view of what happened and that the decision to eject the India character was most certainly not some scheme concocted by Aethon and I. 

I really like your post Jammond and I must admit it is an area where I fall down too.  I have more recently been trying to think how Clara would act and your post has spurred me on to do this even more. 

[India]

I am interested.
 
One minute the city was backing me to the extent of defying Salvador and the risk of invasion rather than eject me as he wanted.
 
Then now I have been ejected by Mercinae - and I don't get why. I don't understand what changed. I heard from Clara that the post she made was for sd and thakria to save mercinae face rather than have parrius for them to eject me - but I don't get it. What changed? I did 6 solid hours of setting up legions as Clara instructed me and really hurt my arm. The next day I brought out the last 2.3k mages and worked with Lelorax and the city in the last battle. I tried my best for the city defence the whole time.
 
And now there is resistance to giving me a diplomat pass so I can make my own ingredients to cook as I can't buy city meals and also letting me help dung the fields...
 
I might be rubbish at warfare (having missed out on Dunccan's training last time and Sonja's this time) and perhaps should never be given responsibilities for defending a city but I'm good at lots of other things and I can still be useful to Mercinae in many ways.
 
I just don't get why someone who I was friendly with is being so very mean and unfeeling.

[Every Seer in Avalon]

Can't say I'm too surprised. It wasn't that long ago that the wise citizenry of Mercinae voted to keep Dunccan as Vice Reagent, despite his original, much professed willingness to raze the city to the ground, or at least start knocking out guilds if anyone disobeyed him...

For your own reputation, and perhaps even your sense of self-worth, I'd say cut ties with Mercinae. You're always going to be a scapegoat. You're not clicking with warfare, but you have the longest history of any active citizen of being involved in it, and you held the FM post for ages. They'll depend on you when things are going okay, and blame you when disaster strikes.

As far as the question 'why?', in regards to Clara and the others... I'm not bothering to read the whole thread, but my impression is that the very act of standing up for you had no meaning other then to spit in Parrius' eye. When it become apparent there really would be consequences, or that the outlook was better without you, they decided such a noble act was not really worthwhile. I doubt you as a person played much into the decision.

[Sabrelon]

I haven't been around for a good year or so now, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

I think the best course of action now is to let the situation work itself out in-game. I mean, Avalon was never anything close to Role Play Mandatory (something I thought really hurt it, but then again, I don't know many people who enjoy a bunch of bullshit thrown around about possible RL things). You've got a character built, which is more then can be said about some characters, just roleplay her out at this point.

If she's been Mercinaen then make her stay Mercinaen. She may not be in the city anymore, but that doesn't mean she's any different a person. Her opinions on life, her morales, her actions, don't have to change just because she left. Then again, imagine if you dedicated your life to a city that threw you out on a whim. She could easily blame the city as a whole, or just Clara. Or maybe she understands and wants to just get clearance. (Note, I'm not saying any of this is about anyones personal choices, I'm saying it based off the assumption that everyone is 'Roleplaying' their character)

It's a pretty easy thing to let your personal feelings get sucked into the character, hell, I do it on other mediums, I do it in writing. But, the best way to resolve the situation is let it play out IC. Because, in the least, it'll be at least interesting to see. But, then again, I never was a good fighter, I definitely played for the RP aspect (which was somewhat lacking, at that). So, if you want to just play her like you and use it as a fighting medium, go ahead. IT's definitely not frowned upon.

[Narissa]

Most of you won't remember, but India might, how Narissa and Krill took over Parrius ages ago when the city was the weakest in the land and recruited a corps of fighters up from the LWs, creating forums and training them to fight alongside us, as well as got older folks motivated to rejoin the efforts (<3 Plaman, Koenen, Caldur, Alacarendal, etc) and began reclaiming the SOI (nearly to our gates) that Springdale held. The infamous "water forts" that we made into common use were a huge factor in the initial revamp/overcomplication of the war system - and once all was said and done and Krill wanted to step down from First Mariner, things began to fall apart as the old-school pacifists like Alexandra, from Parrius of even-longer-ago began to resent the new young fighters. Treaties were made which encouraged Springdale to push back and Narissa tried to step up and take control herself...Genesis himself even appeared in the council meeting and told Parrius to hand the reigns over to her. The council meeting eventually ended in Narissa no longer a citizen (and rather devastated over it).

Plaman might recall how, on an angry whim, she began killing Thakrians in response to his remark that "it was unfortunate she wasn't good enough to be Thakrian." After a dozen or so Thakrian deaths, she ended up a citizen. Some of you might remember how that went.

Point being, getting the boot from where you think you belong might be an open door to go make somewhere else great, if only to prove how much of a mistake losing you was. Narissa always remained a pirate at heart, but Thakria sure had a damn good vengeance-fuelled run from her move.

[Furion]

but Thakria sure had a damn good vengeance-fuelled run from her move.

And then she left and playing became a chore instead of being fun.

[Jammond]

And then she left and playing became a chore instead of being fun.

QFT

[Furion]

QFT

QFT

[Algernon]

From an RP perspective, I also view this as a potential opportunity, although it is clearly not a development you welcome.  Jonah had to go into the belly of the whale, and India is in exile for a time.  All kinds of possibilities.  I've no idea what India will do; neither do you; how fun!

[India]

So recently I found myself playing Avalon as if it were a solo game. I'd log on and noone would send a tell to say hello. I'd play for several hours without a word being uttered. Such is the consequence of being excluded from important communications channels such as OOC which have largely replaced tells. Activity-wise I felt that my game is completely restricted, I can't do anything within my city, I'm not involved in the yearly activities because I can't see the plans and don't have access to the tools and even within a shop, I can't pick up the coin I make due to divine guardians seeing me as an outsider.
 
I thought back to why 10 years ago I decided to start playing an online game. My friends were all engaged, married, having their first children and moving out of London. I recognised that I would need to do something to meet new people, perhaps people who shared similar interests to me and who would not only talk decorating, weddings or babies. These were my driving thoughts, I had a pc and I wanted to connect with people to fill the gap that would inevitably appear as my friends moved onto their next life-stages. And so by searching for MUD I ended up with Avalon.
 
My recent experiences with Avalon have felt like particular players, Orielle, Dunccan, Salvador and others have used invasion and treaties as a method to penalise a character they dislike rather than a role-play event against a city or guild. These "because we can" actions actually had a long term impact on me the person behind the character and my enjoyment of the game.
 
The first treaty covered a real life year and restricted my roles within the city, though I was able to interact mostly as normal as I had Trade, State and PR aideships. The second treaty, another real life year, completely excluded me from city life, negating all my 10 years of gameplay and my ranks earned. Now it has repeatedly been made clear to me that I will not be allowed back into the city once the treaty expires. There is no precident for this - even Kes was only forced out of Mercinae RL weeks and yet my own "friends" have made this permenant.
 
With my game-play restricted and with no potential to fix it even long term, it was increasingly dificult to maintain existing relationships within the city and build new ones. After all what point for anyone is there to interacting with a citiless player? I don't think people were deliberatly exclusive, it is just everything tends to revolve around the cities. So much communication about group activties and goals is within the city bb, the actions log and ongoing through ooc.
 
I tried working on things like my guild army but found that bribing enemy guildmen was against all the treaties (even though I was citiless). There were even moves to kick me out the guild as apparently "non-mercinaens" were no longer allowed in Mercinae guilds (according to the City).
 
After the last few weeks or so of complete silence from "friends" on msn and the feeling of increasing isolation when I did play I actually started feeling very unhappy about playing. Then I thought back to why I started Avalon, to interact, to meet like minded people, to have company and someone to talk to in the evenings etc and I realised that Avalon was now having the opposite effect, making me feel more isolated and alone.
 
The solution was simple - with there no longer being a benefit to me of playing I just decided not to play. Noone in the current player base has  noticed or missed me as I have received no queries or msgs as to my absence.
 
So it's farewell for now, I won't say for ever but for now I'm bowing out.

India
 

PS:
My one piece of advice? Please think very carefully about singling people out for this sort of treatment in future. I made it through the worst excesses of being jumped and slayed for 10 RL years as there was always a way to step out and take a breather through dp and I had the support of my comrades as everyone on my "team" was targetted together. It has taken targetting me solely as an individual to exclude me socially from my city with no let up to make me even think of leaving.
 
From an article on bullying:

"...social aggression or indirect bullying is characterized by threatening the victim into social isolation. This isolation is achieved through a wide variety of techniques, including spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the victim, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victim..."

 

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

Dashboard Confessional Vindicated OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO HD 720p x264