Thanks go to Elmak for finding this for me!
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ahem, the real account -
Narissa awoke from her slumber, making a cursory glance around her Money Pit, tidying a few bales of rare silk that had been bumped into during the previous night. She chuckled, knowing that the rest of Thakria was surely still sleeping off the party; the wine had been a paticuarly special vintage of Sir Epicure's, one known as much for its exquisite taste, as for its potency.
Giggling in memory of their midnight, slightly meandering, dash through the streets in the city's caravan, she assessed Thakria's animal stocks with a proud nod. It might have been a more indirect route than usual, but it had been worth it, even if Tyr had fallen out somewhere around Krempton, and had been forced to slog his way back.
"Hmm..." she pondered, then. Something nagged at her mind, something about that ride...
Her senses attuned to the ether, she noted Sir Maleki slaying the city's foes, one after another. Impressed, she turned her mind to locating the fight, shocked when she discovered it was right on her doorstep! After a quick preparation, she launched herself into the battle, dashing to cover the warrior's back.
"What's...going...on...?" she panted between stabs and flips.
"Mercdale...troops...invading..." came the reply, between jabs and scythes.
"Damn...Kill mages..." And with a yank, then another, Rikki and India found themselves looking down the blades of Maleki's swords, briefly aware that their quiet, uncontested time with troops was at an end, before their souls were separated from their bodies.
Maleki nodded briefly in satisfaction, before cleaning his weapons on India's tunic. As he prepared to rejoin the battle, his unicorn let out a loud cry, rearing up onto its hind legs. A magical portal swirling into existence confirmed the steed's sensing - Zenichiro was awake and ready for action.
"Thank goodness," Narissa breathed, quickly scanning the horizon, and tallying up the opposing forces. "You guys are going to have to hold them off while I rally the troops..." Biting her lip doubtfully, she worried how just the pair of them would be able to stop the nearly two dozen generals posed to strike against Thakria.
"Need a hand?" a quiet voice murmered, making all three fighters whirl about in suprise. Behind them, grining slyly, was the infamous Plaman, known, among other things, for his good timing. The trio grinned back, feeling more at ease. Suddenly things were beginning to look a lot more doable.
The thieves retreated to the barracks to assemble their loyal soldiers, as Maleki and Zenichiro waded among the foes, dealing death with swift strokes. Staves glowered menancingly down at the corpses littering the Lakeside Promenade. Feeling the pressure intensify, the Mercinean and Springdalian generals tried to speed their troops along, but the rush only increased mistakes, making them falter...
Narissa marched out a legion she had kept prepared for times like these, one thousand loyal soldiers, atuned to a constant state of readiness. Bravely, they marched into the fray, and began to decimate the many fifty-man contingents that had just emerged from their watery marches. Plaman, in the meantime continued to assemble his men, aiming for a large legion to take out the growing Mercinean masses.
Pahn, seeing the Thakrians close to action, chose to march his legion into the city - right into Narissa's second legion, set for an ambush. As her troops crashed into the eastern flank of his army with a roar, Maleki let out a bloodcurdling cry, sending the Springdalian general to ride the ships of death along with his soldiers.
India, panicking at the rout, attempted to retreat, but her small legions all slain by the initial attack, found she only had one large force to break down before she could manage an escape. Attempting to give the order to disband, a shadow fell across her legion. Turning in horror, she saw Plaman advancing, before his men fell upon hers with a bloodthirsty hunger.
Sitting back in exhaustion, Narissa and Plaman watched as their men hunted down and slew the remaining soldiers from the Mercdalian legions. Agonized cries intermittently pierced the air, as Maleki and Zenichiro chased the generals back to the protection of temples and stockrooms. Grinning wryly, Narissa turned to Plaman, gesturing at the carnage.
"We managed to turn the tables quite well, don't you think?"
He nodded back, before smirking softly. "Would you like a glass of Sir Epicure's finest, in celebration?"
Her eyes shooting daggers at him, Narissa groaned and shook her head. "I think I will....never...touch that vile brew again!"
***
(or if you prefer an out of role synopsis:
In truth, that day was an amusing display of the lack of warfare ability from both Mercinae and Springdale. Given the immense opportunity our slip-up offered, combined with a fighting squad of nearly 20 people to our 4 (2 of which were the generals busy assembling), I'm shocked you not only failed to destroy anything, but lost more troops than we did.
The majority of Thakria's losses were in the initial legion that had been manning forts. After that point (ie once anyone came online), we were able to pick off the 50s coming off the water and then completely anhiliate the assembled legions as their leaders were riding the ships of death, thanks to our well coordinated fighting.
You failed to mention the near 1000 men you left sitting in the middle of the lake, which I was able to assail later at my leisure...
Doing the math, totalling up your losses and Springdale's (at least 8000 vs our poor little fort legion's death) it seems a costly price to pay to simply take out a legion that isn't considered part of the effective army anyways.)