Heh. Well, for me, I was kinda thrown into my roles and gradually learned how to do them, making little mental scripts and processes in my head for how to deal with a variety of situations. Some of these became more fleshed out into guides or posts on forums (such as the [now-defunct] warfare guide or the state ministry guide, or the threads on the Thak forums for common coding issues), which means I can refer people there for the basics and then have them come to me for review or more specific questions.
Other things, I've done so much, such as interviewing a potential thief, that you slowly elaborate on it, turning it into a fun, unique little ritual that's different each time - that way, it's not as dull and it keeps your attention, which is pretty important when you're doing something a lot of times.
Some things are a big process of trial and error until you hit on the right combo. For example, Thakria was having a dual problem of keeping citizens with money while keeping them motivated and active and working hard to help the city (versus just grinding away at gold quests). After trying lots of different things, I discovered that paying for logs got people fighting more (and learning from their fights) while keeping them with enough money to buy necessities. Same thing with paying for farming, etc.
All of the above make things much more efficient, however, the most key thing I've learned to do is time management. Delegate jobs to others, even if you think they won't do as well at it - it saves you time, and it trains them and gives them confidence (sometimes you need to invest a little time to ensure they know what they are doing, but, in the long run, it's worth it). Another key skill is knowing when not to bother - sometimes certain things aren't worth the effort, or certain kids aren't going to fit in the city/guild RP (or they are nutty), so you just pass that stuff on, and only focus on things that are going to reap a reasonable reward.
As for finding time to RP, fight, etc - you have to make sure you put time in for this kind of stuff! Not only does having fun make you enjoy everything more, it's good for morale of your constituents. If it's a challenge, it makes people feel good to see their leader trying hard - if it's a city event, you've got your city actively doing something together, and seeing you help lead the charge gives them confidence.
