Great BB Posts

[Narissa]

Just was browsing the bbs today for a guild project and came across a few gems. Feel free to add your own!

For Sale section:

Message #334.
Date: 2-10-2003 at 15:46.
From: Ender, Brigand.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Following For Sale Message #316.

For sale: A newborn baby-boy.


Its podgy eyes look helplessly at you, as the child gurgles softly and dribbles some saliva down its
chin. Its little legs kick frantically and its fingers clasp your hands tightly. The baby is called
Slaine Satori.

One previous owner: Lyonesse, a self proclaimed expert on childcare. I just hope she took better care
of the baby than I have. Are their heads supposed to make that noise when you drop them on a marble
floor?

Serious offers only please, obviously I expect a huge bid from the Animists guild. (Actually what I
expect from the animists guild is to go rushing to their patron who will just effortlessly get them
out of trouble).

Such is life.

Ender, Brigand and Nanny

Written by my hand on the 19th of Leaflost, in the year 1099.

Message #335.
Date: 3-10-2003 at 17:06.
From: Nostradamus, god of darkness.
To  : Ender, Brigand.
Subj: Baby for sale.

I acknowledge receipt of the baby boy (slightly bruised) with a vague
 resemblance to Lyonesse.

The price: one leather coat. May it provide you with many days of comfort and warmth.

I shall certainly enjoy my new prize.

Nostradamus.

Written by my hand on the 15th of Agamnion, in the year 1099.

Message #337.
Date: 7-10-2003 at 13:35.
From: Ender, Brigand.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Tragic Mistake.

When I first chanced upon Lyonesse's baby I was being little more than opportunistic. Chasing and
hopeless Animist into the heart of their guildhouse, only to find the door to the Nursery wide open
and inviting, well, I would have been rude not to.


Since that day I have had time to consider my actions and realise I was short sighted and callous,
not stopping for a moment to consider the lasting damage I would cause by breaking up the family,
splitting this baby boy from his brother and sister.

Sadly the deal was sealed and the damage was done, I cannot ask Nostradamus to return the baby I sold
him in good faith.

So I am left with only one other option...

Written by my hand on the 17th of Mournsend, in the year 1100.

Message #338.
Date: 7-10-2003 at 13:39.
From: Ender, Brigand.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Brothers and Sisters.

For Sale: 2 newborn babies, a boy and a girl.


Roll up, Roll up! For this one time, limited edition special offer, the LAST REMAINING children of
Lyonesse the Guildmistress of the Animists. Offered ONLY as a double lot so as to not cause
psychological damage to the children.

Rowena Satori (girl) and Maelstrom Satori (boy), both in excellent health (currently) and I'll even
throw in a free crib!



Ender, Brigand and Baby Distribution

Written by my hand on the 17th of Mournsend, in the year 1100.

Message #345.
Date: 22-11-2003 at 18:14.
From: Druidess Alecto, Respite's Crone.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Wanted.

Not so much for sale, as wanted to buy... I will buy any branches
 you collect in your travels, drop me a tell or a msg! Cheers.

Written by my hand on the 12th of Mournsend, in the year 1103.

Message #346.
Date: 22-11-2003 at 18:59.
From: Ender, Brigand.
To  : Druidess Alecto, Respite's Crone.
Subj: Branches.

The Brigands will sell you the Grey Forest for quarter of a million. Or the Greenwood for one and a
half million, given that we own it and every Ranger in it.


Ender

Written by my hand on the 13th of Mournsend, in the year 1103.

Message #354.
Date: 13-12-2003 at 20:16.
From: Mistress Esprii M'Trae-Elenthiel.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: New, Collecters Edition Dung heap!.

Attention all Avalonians! In my possesion I hold the first known heap of dung
 EVER to be produced by a living creature! Well preserved and fresh as the  day it was dropped, this
historic bowl movement would make a priceless addition to any collecters stash.+ This is the real
thing, brought into being on the 6th day of Ilmarael, 1104  years after the Divine War, by the mule
beloning to to Young Skrallog.

Offers, Question, Comments, and 'Ewww!'S may be addressed to Esprii, the quicker the better, before
this timeless piece of avalon history is snatched up forever...

P. S. - Anyone wishing to make a crack at the origin of the heap, Bridge Street i in the city of
Mercinae, may be interested that the Young messenger Skrallog hails from the city of Parrius...
Perhaps I should be selling baggies and  spoons instead?

Written by my hand on the 6th of Ilmarael, in the year 1104.

Message #380.
Date: 16-6-2004 at 20:04.
From: Lucky Charm Zwartia Good for Nothing.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: Worshipper for hire.

To all divinities: GREAT OPPORTUNITY!


Are You tired of Your average order member? Are they mind-numbing and uninspiring? Do they expect You
to fulfil their every wish and are ungrateful if You do so? Are they not treating You with the
respect You deserve?

Do not fret any longer, here is THE solution to Your problem!

For a small fee I will become Your most loyal disciple.

I will devote all my actions to no other purpose than Your homage.  I will fight Your enemies and
proudly die a million deaths in Your honour.  I will kick Your followers into shape and sing Your
praise all over Avalon. I will swab Your temples and polish Your statues. I will make Your coffee
and bring You Your cigars. I will ... (Hmm, lets not exaggerate)

Be enterprising and grab this chance!

- Temporary offer - First come, first served -

For more info, contact Zwartia



Written by my hand on the 20th of Leaflost, in the year 1116.

And, just because of the drama it caused... #514 and onwards. The outcry is amusing.

[Every Seer in Avalon]

Oho, I never knew of that! Interesting, I wonder how many times Ailiana has left her kids laying around. I fondly remember holding them ransom with Tristian, and I'll have to try and dig up those posts.

[Every Seer in Avalon]

Holy shit, I actually found it.

public 21021

[Narissa]

The rest of this topic has been moved to RP discussion, as that's what it is. Enjoy, and keep the fun bb posts coming!

[Algernon]

How to get expelled from your guild...   


Message #449.
Date: 3-12-1991
From: Kobyashi.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: The demise of Hornet's Guild Membership

A lot may be spoken of why Hornet was forcibly ejected from the Mages Guild.

A number of occurences over the months were reason enough but he was afforded
many opportunities to reddem himself. He compromised the safety of The Mages
Guild with Teleport pills Summoned weaker players actually into the Guild for
the purpose od killing them Took advantage of a quirk in the system to abuse
powers that enabled him to act as a Guild Master. What finally enraged me, a
normally placid mage, was what follows;

Hornets guild description:-

help mages The mages guild is looking for new members at the moment and young
recruits are most welcome to join. However you must realize that you are
dealing with a guild that includes Hornet the cannibal mage a character of
supreme intelligence and immense power... He is always willing to help new
members... For the right price!!

It was tricks and attitudes like this that prevented excellent players such as
 Merlin from joining. Clearly I couldn't allow this to continue.

Kobyashi Guildmaster of the Mages

[Algernon]

Thanks, Narissa.  Forgot about this topic.

[Narissa]

MESSAGE BOARD: Public Section.
Message #10000.
Date: 6-3-1996 at 20:51.
From: Genesis, the god of time.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: 10,000th Message

Symbolically I have nabbed the 10,000th message and will write something more here when I have a moment.

and yet, he never did...how...Genesisish....

and another gem by him (this was before fighters bb was implemented)

MESSAGE BOARD: Public Section.
Message #10625.
Date: 14-5-1996 at 15:30.
From: Genesis, the god of time.
To  : Everyone.
Subj: A competition

I propose a competition. The competition will be to avoid totally use of the word 'coward'. I'll be monitoring progress closely...

[Ailiana]

Oho, I never knew of that! Interesting, I wonder how many times Ailiana has left her kids laying around. I fondly remember holding them ransom with Tristian, and I'll have to try and dig up those posts.

 
hehe forgot to mention what happened to the dear Mystics guild after that happened.