Neriadic Bard Valek says, "I could use a volunteer. . ".Neriadic Bard Valek gets a maddened gleam piques in Valek's eyes. (Someone volunteers reluctantly)Neriadic Bard Valek presents you to the "audience", a host of birds, squirrels, and an assortment of insects.Neriadic Bard Valek directs you to stand on a large red box.Neriadic Bard Valek wheels a large cart, containing an open box on it, positioning it behind you.Neriadic Bard Valek stands on the opposite side of you from the wheeled box, and bows to the "audience".Neriadic Bard Valek suddenly and without warning, pushes you over backwards so that you fall into the box.(Volunteer shrieks, protests, etc)Neriadic Bard Valek quickly closes and locks the box around you.Your head sticks out one end of the box, your feet dangle out the other.Neriadic Bard Valek says, "Please remain calm, and wiggle your feet so that our audience can see it's really you. . . ".Neriadic Bard Valek mumbles quickly, "And that you're not dead.".You wiggle your feet gingerly and glance around nervously.Neriadic Bard Valek produces a filthy, rusty saw from a hessian sack.Neriadic Bard Valek coughs softly.Neriadic Bard Valek stands on the opposite side of the box from the audience.(At this point, the volunteer starts getting nervous)Neriadic Bard Valek says, "For my next trick, I will fill the arena with blood from an unknown source!".Neriadic Bard Valek whispers not-so-discreetly to you, "Not until the next act. . .".Neriadic Bard Valek brandishes the saw high above his head, and swings it down with great force onto the box, so that it digs partway into the wood.Neriadic Bard Valek says, "Oops, I missed. . .".You ask, "Is there a law against this?"Neriadic Bard Valek with some effort, tugs the saw out from its niche, and slides it smoothly into the slot which was created for this trick.You mumble to yourself, "He must be breaking a law somewhere."Neriadic Bard Valek says, "I think there might be one in Springdale, but not here."Neriadic Bard Valek chortles madly as he begins a sawing motion back and forth, rapidly and violently.Neriadic Bard Valek completes the illusion by sawing down through the bottom of the box, the saw now free, and the assumption being that you MUST have been cut in half.Neriadic Bard Valek puts the saw away, and unlocks the box, helping you out.Neriadic Bard Valek says, "Take a bow, Lovely Assisstant.".Neriadic Bard Valek bows to the "audience".You glance at your legs warily. You draw your hand towards your chest and bow low.Neriadic Bard Valek says, "What's that you say? Not a real saw?".Neriadic Bard Valek produces his ACTUAL saw from the hessian sack, and cuts an apple in half with it.(Volunteer faints as Valek says...)Neriadic Bard Valek says, "See? It's real! Et voila! Illusion!".
